Email alan.tyers@telegraph.co.uk with the answer to this question: who would you rather go for a drink with out of Big Sam Allardyce and Medium-Sized Roberto Mancini, and why?
22 mins: Aguero's hit the post! Silva plays a through ball, it wasn't actually a very good pass but it takes a deflection off a Hammers defender and ends up straight at the feet of Aguero! He hits it first time but doesn't get hold of it at all, the ball dribbles onto the post.
20 mins: Good link up between Tevez and Aguero, a one-two allows the former to shoot, but well over. Still all City in terms of possession and territory.
18 mins: Carroll's into the book for tackling Aguero, I reckon he got the ball first but it didn't look very controlled. If Carroll wasn't a foot taller and fifty pounds heavier than Aguero that would never have been a card. Hard lines big lad.
16 mins: It's all City, they're camped in the West Ham final third. Nolan concedes a corner of Aguero. Carroll puts in a good defensive header, it falls to Silva and he hits it very hard and low, but just wide.
13 mins: Neat angled ball in from Silva and Aguero runs across the defence, free in the area. Demel has given him a sneaky tug there, if you'll pardon the expression, but the ref didn't see it and it slows Aguero just enough for Jaaskelainen to gather.
12 mins: Good move by City, several players involved, and it's worked out to Nasri on the left. No obvious ball on so City play it around again, patient stuff, Back to Nasri now and his dangerous low cross is forced out.
11 mins: Quiet game at the moment. Neither side looks exactly like they're playing for their lives. A bit of argy-bargy would be nice.
7 mins: Classic City move as Tevez plays the slide rule pass into the area on the right, Zabaleta overlapping but Hammers scramble it out for a corner thanks to Jarvis. West Ham do not defend it very convincingly at all.
6 mins: A Hammers attack breaks down - Nolan cannot find Carroll with a through ball - and City break through Carlos Tevez. He hits a swervy shot but Jussi is behind it well enough.
5 mins: Kevin Nolan putting in a good shift; it's a big of a midfield battle so far, not a lot of action to tell you about. Reid's tackeld Silva hard again and this time gets a warning from the ref.This City team today is the same XI who beat QPR on the last day of last season. I think I am right in saying that they haven't had this XI together since - but am ready to stand corrected...
3 mins: Carroll and Lescott tussle for the ball down the City left, Andy wins the trial of strength but his cross is harmless.
2 mins: Reid stops Silva with a clumsy tackle but avoids a card. City build with Barry, Nasri, Silva all seeing plenty of the ball, Hammers standing off
1 mins: Wow, exciting start from City, Nasri weaves through a couple of challenges and slips it to Tevez in the area! Offside.
12.31 Sam Allardyce says that "chances against Man City will be spasmodic." Jamie Redknapp says "Sam doesn't get the respect he deserves - sometimes English managers don't." You have got to be joking, right? Is there a more self-congratulatory boys' club in the entire sporting world than English Premier League managers and their ex-player mates in the media? It's a gravy train with biscuit wheels, and once you're on it, no amount of failure or uselessness can get you off: your colleagues and media pals will be talking you up for lucrative gigs ten years after you were any use whatsoever. Your foreign manager, meanwhile, because he don't bother with the golf, can be treated with disdain and suspicion because you know that he might leave these shores in a year or two. Even by his own standards, that is utter tosh from young Jamie. "English managers don't get the respect they deserve." Pull the other one.
Twitter: Football Form Labs - Man City won their last nine home games following a defeat with six win-win doubles and eight wins to-nil http://t.co/HIAg66qvNY #FormLabMAX
12.21 Yes, it's 'Sultans Of Swing' by Dire Straits! Of course it is. Someone has just done a bad shot, and there was some bants about someone's trousers. God I wish I was there. In the past, when it took place, whatever. And oh my goodness there's Carlos Tevez, he's wearing a visor thing like an old man would wear in Florida AND HE'S GOT A BOBBLE HAT ON TOP. This is strong work from Carlos. He is surely the most extravagantly accessorised top level player the English game has seen. Snoods, visor bobbles, this lad has got the lot.
12.20 Sky Sports have a preview video package of James Milner and Joe Hart playing golf. For one hundred internet points, name the song being played?
12.15 David Silva returns from a three-match absence with a hamstring injury to make his 100th league appearance for Manchester City. Sergio Aguero is also available for the Blues, who have Joleon Lescott in defence in place of Matija Nastastic. Go Joleon! Glad to see him getting his game. Hammers unchanged from the team that beat Wigan.
Twitter: Premier League - TEAM NEWS Manchester City make three changes with Aguero, Silva and Lescott replacing Dzeko, Milner and Nastasic. #MCIWHU
12.00 Morning all and welcome to our live blog of Manchester City v West Ham, the first of four live games on our website this weekend. It's an absolutely crunch game absolutely not a crunch game but let's not let that spoil our enjoyment. Second place Man City have 68 points and a game in hand on Arsenal, whom they lead by five points. Chelsea are on 62, Spurs on 61. All the top three teams go through to the Champions League group stages, fourth place has to go through the play-off. So, yeah. Finishing second or third = same difference. Oh, I guess you get a bit more prize money; perhaps enough to keep Yaya Toure in the style to which he has become accustomed for... oohh... two days? As for tenth placed West Ham, they are not mathematically safe, but surely it would take something bizarre and wrong for them to go down with their current haul of 42 points.
While it was undeniably funny, I thought it was a bit mean that people were laughing at Big Sam in the week for failing to sign man-of-the-moment Robert Lewandowski. Then again, volcanic ash! Come on. Poor Sam. Poor Lewandowski, not getting a chance to work with Allardyce at Blackburn. That could have made an excellent basis for a cop show, I reckon. Lewandowski the maverick detective, Allardyce the gruff police captain. It'd be called Lewandowski PI. He'd go off the reservation, do something unconscionable to get information out of a suspect, or maybe control the football without using his elbows. "Dammit Lewandowski, I want your badge and gun," Sam would shout, before making him run around the pitch a lot and eat a bacon sandwich.
The teams will be here shortly, I'm sure. In the meantime, here is John Ley's match preview, which is by John Ley. You know what? Let's have a little picture of John.
Probable Team News: Manchester City have David Silva, James Milner and Sergio Agüero all available following hamstring problems against West Ham at the Etihad Stadium. Playmaker Silva has missed the past three games while striker Agüero was an unused substitute in last weekend's defeat by Tottenham and winger Milner was forced off at half-time in that game. Midfielder Jack Rodwell has been out for almost two months with his latest hamstring problem but could be available while defenders Maicon and Micah Richards are not yet ready for a return to first-team action.
West Ham, meanwhile, are without defensive pair James Tomkins and George McCartney at the Eithad. Midfielder Mark Noble could begin his first game since February after making two successive appearances from the substitutes' bench. Fellow midfielder Joe Cole, who also came off the bench against Wigan last weekend following his recovery from a hamstring problem, may be considered for his first start since March 2.
Match Notes: How Manchester City finish this season is likely to prove decisive in whether Roberto Mancini retains his position as manager this summer. Slide away and allow Manchester United to win the league by a record margin and Mancini will be struggling, but a bright finish and FA Cup success could swing the decision in his favour. Overcoming West Ham is the first objective and it should be routine.
Stat of the game: If City lose it will be the first time they have suffered back-to-back defeats in 100 Premier League games.
Via: Silvia Navarro and Alexandrina Barbosa, a few absences in the Warriors 'to force'
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